The Phoenix

A phoenix is a symbol of rebirth. This is a creature who burns down to the ground, withstands an exhaustive amount of adversity and trial, only to rise from the flames stronger than before... and with a new perspective.

I identify with this myth. My leadership style is identified best through Behavioral Leadership Theory. This is the theory that adheres to the belief that leaders can be made. There is a definable behavior and process that makes you a leader. Likewise, there is a set of definable behaviors that work specifically against successful leadership. Was I born a leader? Some may argue that is the case. After all, the influence during my formative years was less than preferable. I, however, believe it is a choice.

With a mom who checked out of life before I could finish my fascination with baby dolls and candy, I grew up quick. The oldest of 4 girls, I had a job to do. After all, who else was going to do it? My childhood was not good by any stretch of the imagination. I saw and experienced things that no child should ever have to.

I had two choices. I could let it break me and remain self-pitying, or I could learn all there was to learn about how to get out, set some goals, and not let anything stop me from achieving them. I chose the latter.

I specifically remember the choice and when it became ultimately important that I choose quickly. It was when we had nothing to eat. My sisters were hungry, and I was capable of figuring it out. Starvation can make anyone innovative. It's fight or flight right?

Instead of throwing my hands in the air, I took a cupcake mix out of the cabinet (the only thing left.) I made some cupcakes, found some loose change in the couch cushions and car. I went to buy a .75 cent frosting, and brought it home. God, how good those cupcakes smelled. I took my sisters with me and and we sold cupcakes for 1.00 each (door to door.) We made 22 dollars that day. I was able to buy rice, bread, milk, cereal, and hamburger meat. I divided it up into 8 portions, since that was when my mom's check was due to arrive. We ate. I was 11.

That was the first time I knew my responsibility was far greater than my wishes and desires. I started watching people. I made mental notes of what they did to lead to failure, and what they did that led to success. These behaviors were very obvious and easy to understand.

Then I started viewing each action and reaction as a choice. And I started making the right ones. I started teaching my sisters the value of ethical choices. Those were the ones that made sense.

I could not afford to slip up, to be lazy, to not care. It was too risky. So we survived. I watched others around me. And I decided to choose one thing about them that made them successful, then I practiced, changed and tweaked when necessary.

There was nothing to fall back on. Until God and my discovery of Romans 8:28. I knew at that point that there was in fact a purpose for me. That there was a plan. That I was special, and that I was not alone. My struggles were not to go unnoticed. Someday there would be a reward. 

And this pushed me more and more and more. 

If I remained the child I was born to be, in the hand I was dealt, I would NEVER be here now. I would not be getting a Master's Degree in Leadership, and maintaining excellence in everything I do. 

In everything I do, there is an opportunity to learn and change. To be better. To make it all worthwhile. To create an amazing journey out of our short existence here, and to rise up stronger than ever through each challenge.

In a school setting, this means that I can empathize with personal trials and life in general. I am good with helping people see their possibilities. I am good with affecting change through inspiration and relationships. I know I can bring people together easily.